Dear Anger,

You are an odd emotion.  I understand you when something has been done to provoke you, but I don't really understand why you sometimes just pop in for no reason.  You have been with me for about 13 hours now.  Nothing particularly maddening or provoking happened at 10 o'clock last night.  Yet you have filled me since then and I cannot shake you.  I was on the verge of sleep when all of a sudden BAM there you were.  And you were still there when I woke up this morning and you're still here now.  So I don't know why you're here, I don't know what you're directed at, and because of that, I have NO CLUE how to get rid of you.  Thus, you are odd. 

I guess you're not really all that odd.  I mean, happiness comes around for no apparent reason all the time.  But that's not generally a problem.  Anger, on the other hand, you're a problem.  You get in the way.  You make it impossible for me to focus on the task at hand, be that work or sleep, and you impede my interactions with other people.  Basically, you frustrate me and then you self-perpetuate.  Well, I would like for you to leave.  Please.  I am asking nicely.

Thanks,

Me 

Dear Apartment Building,

I really hope that whatever is wrong with you is all fixed by the time I go home tonight.  I'm not certain what exactly is wrong with you but I assume that it's something in a control room somewhere.  Because while the electricity in my apartment was working (thank goodness - this morning would have been a real disaster without my alarm clock and hair dryer), the cable was out, the elevators were not working, and the electricity was out in the parking garage and lobby.  And while walking down from the 12th floor this morning wasn't the end of the world, walking back up to the 12th floor tonight will really annoy me.  So I hope that you're all better by the time I get home tonight.

With love,

me

Dear Indigo Girls,
First of all, I think you're fantastic. I always will. But you concert last night was slightly less than fantastic. Really it was your setlist that I found less than fantastic. Why did you play so many songs that I didn't know? I was pretty sure that I knew just about all of your songs? So how was it that I only knew about half of what you played? (and yeah, I knew everything that you said was "new" so that didn't make sense either...). And you played a lot of really slow stuff, which was tough. You did play some good ones - I must say that I was thrilled to hear Romeo and Juliet. And Closer to Fine is always wonderful. And while we left during Galileo, I know that was fabulous too. But I felt like some other great standards were missing. So while I'm still a fan, your show was not all I'd hoped and dreamed.
A slightly disappointed, VERY sleepy,
me

Dear Tyler, Joe, Quinton, and Pete,

Just wanted to thank you all for taking me out on my birthday.  It really meant a lot to me and I had a really nice time with you all :)  Tyler - a special thanks for planning - I know it's not your favorite thing to do and I know I'm not the easiest person to plan something for. 

Anyway, just in case any of you ever read this, I wanted you to know how much I appreciated it!  So thanks for making my birthday special :)

With love,

me

Dear Mother Nature,
I must be honest here, I don't really appreciate the weather that you have given me for my birthday. I know, I shouldn't have tempted fate by planning on doing something outdoors this evening. Or by planning on getting a pedicure this afternoon (at a place that I have to walk 3 blocks to get to). But really - it's my birthday - can't we have sunshine??? PLEASE!!
I'd be most appreciative if you wanted to change course!
Thanks,
me

Dear Week,

Thank you for finally being over (well, mostly).  And thank you SO MUCH for not being quite as bad as I initially feared.  You were rough, but you weren't impossible.  I've had worse.  And come on, we all know that I do my best work under pressure.  I mean, today was actually sort of fun, getting to solve a mini-crisis at work! 

One more itty bitty little favor though - please get me through tonight.  I shouldn't be this nervous, it's so irrational and I know that, but I am.   

You've been there so far, don't let me down now...

with fingers crossed,

me

Dear hair,

Thank you for finally cooperating today.  You were cut on Saturday and, quite frankly, I lost a little more of you than I would have liked.  And, because you are now a somewhat awkward length, I haven't been able to make you look anything like what I want you to look like for this entire week.  And that does not please me.  But today you dried normally and you look much better.  So thanks!  In a bad week, the little things certainly matter!

With love,

me

Dear LIFE,
Why, when it rains, must it pour?  Why can't only one thing suck at a time?  Or blow up at a time?  Why must everything come to a head all at once, all when you're least capable of dealing with it because you have a million other things that you're trying to deal with all at the same time?  I ask you this life, because week did not do its job (see below).  I hate this feeling, like I'm on a train heading for a cliff and there's nowhere for me to go but to down.  Let me reiterate I HATE this feeling.  I especially hate this feeling in the week leading up to my birthday (which is feeling less and less relevant and/or important anyway, but that's another story altogether).  Which circles back to my original point.  I feel like I at least maybe could have handled, one at a time, the things you're throwing at me this week life.  Maybe.  But all at once...  This is just a cruel joke and I for one am not laughing.
Not amused,
me

Dear Week,

Please show me a little mercy.  I know you're going to suck.  There's no getting around that.  You're going to be absolutely brutal.  That's just what happens sometimes.  I expect to bill between 60 and 70 hours this week.  I accept that.  But please have a little mercy and let the non-work part of my week not suck.  I'm not certain exactly what part of my week will even be able to constitute non-work until Friday night dinner but if there is any, if somehow days become longer than 24 hours or I magically become able to function on less than 6 hours of sleep anight, please how about it not sucking or making work harder?  That'd be good...

Thanks,

me

Dear Sun,

I love you.  You make me happy.  But why oh why must you burn me so?  IT HURTS!!!  Seriously - OUCH!!!  I am in some real pain here.  Wearing clothes on my upper body is downright painful!!  Thank goodness I work in an office that has a door so that I can at least sit here in my tank top (shirt that I wore over my tank top at the ready in case someone knocks on the door) and re-apply my aloe every 30 minutes or so...  I mean really, what did I ever do to you?  I respect you (by wearing sunscreen no less!), I LOVE YOU (you make me happy), and this is how you reward me??  :(

Painfully,

me

Dear Sister Hazel,
You guys never cease to amaze me! How do you do it? BAM Volume 1- UNBELIEVABLE. I can't even believe this is all B-sides (and more) (hence the name) because it is AMAZING. Every time I listen, I love it more and more. Seriously, you just blow me away. I cannot wait to see you in Milwaukee in July (seeing if I can swing a trip to Indianapolis at the end of June, but it's unlikely). And then of course in New Hampshire and Boston in August for OSD - FUN! And I hear you're releasing a Christmas album this fall - amazing. That will be 3 albums in less than one year. UNREAL. You guys rock. Literally. OK, I'm sounding a little crazy here so I should peace out...
LOVE ALWAYS,
me

Dear week,

For real, ARE YOU ALMOST OVER YET???  I know, I know, it's Thursday afternoon but really, isn't it just over yet??  I don't know if I can make it through the rest of the day today and tomorrow, I need weekend NOW.  Ugh, you have SUCKED big time and I am ready for you to LEAVE.

BLAH.

me

Dear Qdoba,

You're ok.  You're more than ok, you're pretty good.  But you'll never be as good as Chipotle.  Sorry, but it's the cold, hard truth.  You try, I know you try.  But the fact is, I think you spread yourself a little too thin.  Some would say that it's your menu variety that makes you better.  But really, people don't go to places like Qdoba and Chipotle for "grilled chicken mango salad" or for "mexican gumbo."  They want burritos and tacos (or, if they're Jay, quesadillas).  And Chipotle just does burritos better.  Period.  They use better ingredients and they just taste better.  So while I appreciate your shorter line and your ranchera sauce that you put in your fajita burrito, I will never be a Qdoba convert.

Sorry,

Me