Dear Chocolate,
While we haven't always been the closest of friends, I've come to enjoy you quite a bit over the past decade or so. Which is why it is with extreme sadness that I have now discovered that you trigger my migraines. Two migraines in two days, both within an hour of eating chocolate... it's more than coincidence... Sadly, I think we'll have to take a little break from each other until the day I feel up to testing this theory more fully (which sounds painful, but could be beneficial as perhaps there are certain types of you that I could still eat...).
Until then,
me

Dear Mother Nature,

HOLY SHIT IS IT COLD!!!  That was some trick you pulled yesterday, the 50 degree temperature drop.  Impressive, but couldn't we have been just as impressed by a 30 degree drop and bearable 20 degree temps instead of the zero degrees, with negative 20 windchills?  On my 6-block walk from the El to work this morning, I had to duck inside 3 times to warm up a bit.  That's ridiculous!!  Weather this cold should be illegal (I realize that's impossible but the point is, it should never happen!!).  PLEASE FIX THIS AND MAKE ME WARM(er) AGAIN!!

Shivering,

me

Dear Sleep,

I'm starting to learn that I perhaps don't need quite as much of you as I once thought (though I do pobably need more than I've been getting lately).  This is good - it opens up hours of my day for more actively productive things, like interacting with other people.  I suppose I could interact with other people while I sleep, in the form of dreams, but that's not quite as satisfying as doing it awake.  I still love you, sleep, and I have no doubt that we will remain great friends.  But for now, I'm happy to occasionally replace a few hours you a night with pursuits that require consciousness. 

No love lost,

me

Dear Brain,
Sometimes I do not understand you. Usually you are the very definition of rationality. Pure logic - 100% of the time. But there are a few things about which you are completely irrational and the rational part of me just does not understand that!! Plus it drives me crazy. Some of it I can deal with, like the irrational fear of mice (and other rodents, including ferrets, rats, and occasionally squirrels - because really have you ever looked closely at a squirrel - YUCK!). But other times, I just really don't get why I get freaked out about things. And that's my situation right now. *sigh* Nothing I can do except hope the rational side wins... And keep asking why you do this to me.
love,
me

Dear Self,

You really need to learn some self control.  Especially when fried potatoes are involved.  Just because there is food in front of you does not mean you have to eat it.  And just because that food happens to be delicious, salty, fried potatoes is not an exception to this.  There is no reason to come back from lunch feeling this ill.  Even if those french fries were particularly delicious (um, hello, drenched in garlic, oil, sea salt and parmesan and just the right amount of crispy - YUM!!!).  I may never need to eat again...  And eating is important.  So is self control.  Because I'd really rather not die of a heart attack from eating too many french fries and potato chips... So learn how to stop yourself!! 

Thanks,

me

Dear Mother Nature,

Um, WTF??  Seriously, what is going on with this weather?  It is so strange.  I'm a fan of the random warm day in the middle of winter - it gives hope and I enjoy being able to run outside without being all bundled up every once in a while - but as a whole, this has been a bit much.  Sunday was nice, but yesterday and today... The rain has been unreal - the sheets of water falling from the sky as I left work yesterday (without an umbrella, which probably wouldn't have made any difference except to my psyche)... I could have done without those.  Let's just say that it's less than enjoyable to sit on the bus for 40 minutes drenched through your clothes.  And it's not really that warm anymore, at least not with the rain.  Oh well, at least all the moisture in the air does really nice things to my hair.  I wish I could figure out how to make my hair look like this without the crazy weather though!

So how about we just go back to normal, cold (but not too bitterly cold, I don't like that either) winter and leave this crazy weather behind?  

Thanks,

me   

Dear brain,

Where are you?  Please come back... I need you...  It is very difficult to get anything done at work without you.  I know that this is not the most enjoyable of places to be but we don't really have a choice in the matter - it's the middle of the week and this is just where we have to be.  So please, I'm begging you, come back.  Otherwise, I'll be needing you on the weekend too, and we really wouldn't want that...

Thanks,

me