the last time

I'm leaving for the airport in about an hour and a half to head back to Cambridge for the last time. I'm not ready at all. Not just in the literal sense, that my suitcase isn't yet packed (which it's not) but in the broader, emotional sense. There's so much that went undone this break, so much that I should have done, that I needed to do, but I didn't. I haven't been this upset about leaving in a long time. And it's largely irrational for me to be upest -- in 6 weeks I'll be back in Chicago for good. (Note: it's Sunday evening now and I've just edited out a large portion of this post that I've decided I really wasn't comfortable posting because it was just too personal.)

I also hate leaving because I hate leaving Zoe. It's always made me really sad saying goodbye to the dogs but this time is particularly difficult. I've spent so much time with Zoe these past few days, trying to keep her company since she's otherwise all alone and it just makes me so sad to think of her all by herself for the next 6 weeks until I come home again. (Let's be honest, it also makes me sad for me to be by myself for the next 6 weeks until I come home again) Also, there's just something about cuddling up with a dog that makes everything right in the world -- I need more of that in my life.

OK, really have to go pack now...